Thoughts

Well here I am back to write a little more. It's been a while since I wrote anything. To bring things up to day I had my hearing with DB and actually won for once. My support got reduced and now Jen and I are trying to move forward with our lives. Yesterday I had surgery to remove the bumps on my head that I have been so self conscious about. There will be some scars but that is more preferable than the bumps.
So on another note I've been doing lots of thinking over the past few months about how my life has shaped up. I have come to realize that I am like a man without a past. I have none of the usual memorabilia that most people have. I have no high school year books, pictures of my childhood, no pictures from all my years and travels in the Navy. Most of that stuff has been lost over the years due to my trusting people to look out and be responsible for stuff. When I look back over my life I have nothing to show for anything. What really saddens me is that now that I have Jen and Tristin in my life and will be adopting Tristin I really have nothing to pass down to him as a keepsake. About the only things I have from the Navy are my medals and my dress white uniforms. I think my dress blues are at my mom's house. I wish I had taken better care of my stuff so that I could pass it all on to someone. Well at least I have something to pass on to him. Speaking of Tristin, he is such a great kid and I love him more than anything in the world. I can't wait until the day when I can adopt him and he will be mine. I know it must be hard for him to have a different last name and the fact that his own father wants nothing to do with him. I'm hoping that when the time comes he will still want me as his dad. He was so worried about me and my surgery the other day. I have never had anyone worry about me like Jen and T do. In fact nobody has ever really cared about me. These past few years here in Florida with Jen and T have been the happiest I have ever had in my life. I am looking forward to many more happy years with Jen and T. There are so many things that I want to do with them but until we can get some of the bills paid down they will have to wait. Hopefully soon we can work on the house and get it just the way we want. Jen thinks that I hate this house but I really love it, there are so many possibilities for us to do stuff with it. It reminds me of the house I grew up in up in New Hampshire. I have a lot of great memories from that house. The only thing I wish we truly had was a garage but I have plans to build a small workshop/barn in the backyard. Well I have to go for now and try to rest. I do get somewhat tired after a bit. I guess it's my body healing up.

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