Still

Well just when I think things are starting to go good between us we each go to work and it all seems to fall apart during the day. Jen is currently feeling like she isn't good enough at anything at all. That is just soooo far from the truth it isn't funny. I wish Jen was more like me and just turn all that stuff off and just live in the moment and take each day one hour at a time, one day at a time. I keep telling her to keep the faith and that it will all work out eventually. However she doesn't see that and let's things keep getting to her and piling up. I'm not sure who has the right approach me or her. I love Jen with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with her. However there are times when I feel that she doesn't share my feelings in this area and would rather just live alone with her and just Tman. I have never been so happy in my life as I have been this past year with Jen and Tristin. I have never laughed as much. I have completely stopped drinking all together and only have one in a blue moon. Compared to my fifth of scotch every 3 or 4 days I would say it's a great improvement.
Of course my mom still isn't talking to me and there isn't really much I can do about that. My nieces wedding is in 5 days and I will not be attending. I don't see how I can go back up there and just act like everything is alright when it isn't. In fact they have pretty much turned their backs on me and put me out of their thoughts and lives. The one that surprises me the most is my mom. I would have never thought my mom would do something like this to me, but I know she could do it to her "friends", I've seen it done. I have sent her letters all with no response whatsoever. Again for the 2nd year in a row no birthday card from my mom. To top it all off I have received no emails or cards or any other type of correspondence from anybody other than a birthday card from my brother and sister in a year. Yet they will profess how much they love me and how much they want me back in their lives when in fact it is them who have driven me from their lives. Oh well not much I can do about it. I have tried and they still refuse to and hide behind excuses so until they come around this is how it will be.
As far as me coming here to Florida with Jen and Tristin, I feel that it was the best decision that I have ever made in my life. I have a loving wife and son and a life that I have always dreamed about. Granted we aren't rich but we aren't poor either. I wouldn't trade my life here with Jen for anything or anyone ever. I have never felt and been so connected to anyone in my life as I am with Jen. We have the same thoughts and ideas at the same time and it's just not coincidence it happens more times than not. I am hoping someday that Jen and I can put all this CS and divorce stuff behind us and move on with our life together at a greater speed than we are doing now. Well it's getting late and I'm tired so I'm going to hit the hay, I will write more later on.