Mom

Well it's been just about 2 years since I have heard from my mother and the other day I receive a "thinking of you" card from her. There were no handwritten words in it, just her signature. I have thought alot about this card in the days since receiving it and I'm not sure it was sent by her own accord. I think that my brother has really been putting pressure on her to mend the gap between us. I did send her a card today and in it I pretty much spelled out that I want Jen and Tristin accepted with open arms into the family. I don't think they will accept anybody right now or ever. Jen thinks it's her but in reality it doesn't matter who I was with it would have been the same outcome. Nobody in my family ever took the time to see how miserable I was or even asked how things are. After moving back to NH after being gone for about 16 years do you think that anyone of them would have said hey come over and let's catch up on what's new and just get together as brother and sister or brother and brother? Nope not at all. On my brother's account I don't hold anything against him as he has his hands full enough with my sister in law.
My whole life I have been like an outsider to them. Never really accepted or encouraged in anything I did.The only thing I did that my mom was proud of was join the Navy. Other than that I've been like the black sheep of the family. After and during my divorce did anyone ever call me up and ask how things were going and is there anything that they could do? Nope. It always has seemed to me that I was only around so that I could do things for them and when I'm not able to I pretty much get left out and ignored just like when I left home to join the Navy. I didn't receive any birthday cards, father's day cards, Christmas cards or such on any of those holidays while I was underway and on deployment. Hell I don't even nor have I ever gotten them from my own kids.
Until I met Jen and moved here with her did I get those types of cards and have that loving family type harmony that I have been longing for. Hell even her mom has accepted me into the family and she is the one person that has the greatest right to hate and resent me. It sucks going through life and having a family that you don't belong to and really doesn't give a rat's butt on whether you live or die and could really care less either way. Yet I'm supposed to be the forgiving one? My own niece wouldn't confirm me as a friend on FB until I called her out on it. She had accepted many other friend requests before I finally told her that if she didn't want to be a friend then just tell me so I could delete the request. I'm not so quick to run to them and forgive them this time. There was no reason for their behavior at all other than their own selfishness and pettiness .
I have the greatest most loving wife a man could ask for in the whole world. Her son Tristin is like my own and I love him more than my own kids. I enjoy and cherish each and every moment with them. I especially love the things we do together like going to the beach, the zoo, or just about anything we do together. Jen has really changed my life for the better and given me the life and love I thought only existed in the movies. The other day we watched P.S. I Love You and it was such a sad movie that I was crying through it as well because the thought of losing Jen is just more than I could ever handle. I would be devastated beyond all reason. If not for Tristin I would make sure I went with her just so I wouldn't have to be without my best friend and love of my life and keeper of my soul. Jen is everything to me more than she will ever know.