Life in General

Well today as I sit here at my computer I am struck with some thoughts of my family in New Hampshire. A year ago I decided to follow my heart and come to Florida and spend the rest of my life with a wonderful woman who has taught me that true love does exist and loves me unconditionally. Of course that decision wasn't popular with all of my family. Initially my mom was all for the idea but as time grew closer it became a worse idea, my sister never liked the idea, my brother and brother in law were both for it and knew that I really needed to make this move. Well it has been almost a year since I moved here and to this day I have had very little contact with my family at all. My mom isn't talking to me at all, in fact there have been no cards on the usual special occasions like birthday, Christmas, Father's day, etc. I did get gifts from my sister and brother. Recently I have sent her two letters explaining everything and telling her what really happened. It seems my ex told my mom I met Jen online which isn't true, but yet that is exactly where she met her new boyfriend. Well according to my sister my mom still misses me and loves me and wants me back in her life, however I have received no letters, cards or any correspondence whatsoever. I haven't even received and email from my sister. I did receive one from my brother and tried to talk to him about it but he says it's between my mom and I. All of this leaves me with a lot of doubting as to whether they actually love me or are just saying that because it's expected. Until I met Jen I never felt anybody truly loved me or gave a damn about me at all. So I don't know what to think.
I always thought families were supposed to stand behind you no matter what and love you no matter what and take your side over everybody. Well I guess that just isn't true in this case. I have never felt like I belonged with them , I have always felt like the outsider. Maybe it's because I have always thought on my own. I moved out when I was 18 and then joined the Navy at 21 and lived in Virginia until 2000. I moved back to NH in 2001 but it never felt like home even though I grew up there. When I visited Jen in June of last year and as we traveled around I felt like I was home, a feeling I haven't had in over 10 years.
Well it's been a few days since I started this post so let me see if I can capture my thoughts again. I was just doing the dishes and thinking about my family up in NH and some of the things that have been said over the past year. Well where to start let's see, they haven't actually acted friendly enough for Jen to feel comfortable and I already know what they will say when I bring this point up. They will say that they don't know her, but have they even tried ? No they haven't tried at all. I have prayed to God that he will help me fix this but I don't think that my Mom is really willing to make all this better. I was hoping that this could be resolved before my mom passes on but I fear she won't help resolve this at all. She is choosing to hold on to her hate and anger to the end. I keep being struck at how distant I have become from my family over the years even though I lived near them. Nothing I have ever done has really met with any real approval. We don't share the same views, and thoughts that most families share. In essence we are very different people. I'm not really sure that we will ever be truly over this as a family, as they choose to inject their feelings on a situation that really doesn't involve their feelings, other than to like or dislike Jen and Tristin. Out of all my family only my brother in law has truly supported me without any thought and for this I am thankful. I was hoping that my brother and sister would get fed up with my mom's behavior and set her straight but alas it isn't to be. Well only time will tell if they are truly willing to accept and move on past this and except two new exceptional, loving, smart members to the family.
On contrast to all of this is Jen's family. Her mom is very bitter about her own failed relationships and marriages and the circumstances surrounding Jen's separation and divorce from James. In reality her mom has no reason to accept me into the family without anger and malice but yet Jen's whole family and relatives have been nothing short of spectacular, accepting and loving of the whole situation. Especially where Tristin is concerned. They are very loving and have accepted me into the family with open arms. Jen's mom especially has taken me in and seems to love me(of course the oatmeal raisen cookies didn't hurt). She even introduces me as her son in law when she could very easily introduce me as either Keith or Jen's husband. I wish that my family could take a lesson from them and realize that they are being just plain ridiculous about all of this. Sometimes I just want to sit and cry but that would do no good at all and doesn't accomplish much. But alas it's not like I haven't been down this road before. Something very similar happened with my ex wife, after we got married I didn't speak to my family for almost 3 years and even when we did start talking it wasn't much.
I am soooo tired of hearing how much they really care for me and wish me the best and all the other crap and yet I haven't received one single email, letter, card or any other correspondence. So it all really makes me wonder WTF. So as I sit and write this post I am struck at how mysterious God moves and how close to the vest he keeps his plan for each of us. I look back at how Jen and I met and how our relationship has evolved and prospered. We each come from different backgrounds and not to mention different walks of life but here we are. Did God see that Jen needed a loving, devoted husband and Tristin needed a loving dad or was it that he saw what I had become and was about to become and decided that I needed a change and a loving family to save me from drinking and myself destruction? Or was it all of that? Only he knows for sure, and he doesn't tell. I do know that Jen has restored my faith in love and marriage, a faith that was ripped away from me and crushed before my very eyes. Being married to Jen has reminded me of what is truly important in life and what isn't. One day Tristin asked me how much money makes one rich, I replied to him that you don't need money to be rich. Rich is what you make of it. I told him that I had a loving wife (his mom) a loving son (him) and we were all healthy and we were a family then we had riches that are beyond the grasp of many people. I thank God everyday for bringing Jen and Tristin into my life and providing me with an oppurtunity to be the loving husband and dad that I have always wanted to be. I love them with all my heart and soul. They are truly my life and world.